I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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