we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
