I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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