I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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