so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
