Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
