It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
