OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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