she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize