You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
