just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i need some magic done to my vagina
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
