how can u be prego again
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
