yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
