I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
