I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I want to be your penis for a week.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize