i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
