just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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