So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
