Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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