Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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