There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
