Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
