I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
