Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
