so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize