Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
