Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
