I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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