ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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