Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
