just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
