Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
