oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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