the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
