what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
