i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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