Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then my night got REAL pukey
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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