We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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