it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
