i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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