I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I want to fling myself into the sun
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
