wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
