Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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