can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
