new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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