She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
