dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
