Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
