clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
