i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Randomize
