they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
A+ Viking dick
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
