I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
