Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
