I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
