I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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