how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
