i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
