Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
